Numbers

I had a big, long, smart sounding post written up for this.

But I can't bring myself to post all that because, honestly, it's really prideful and intentionally complex just to make me seem more wise or in tune with God or something.

The brutal truth is that I'm falling behind in my reading. I'm having a hard time catching back up and the more I force myself to read the more I feel like I'm only reading because I have to.

I did finish reading the book of Numbers today and the parts that I didn't skim over or sulk through were actually pretty interesting. I think it's mostly about God's Faithfulness in preparing and purifying His people.

It takes an interesting and confusing side trip into the life of Balaam and I don't really understand much of what goes on there. Why was God mad at Balaam for going with the officials when He had just told him to go with the officials? Did he do it wrong? Was he not supposed to bring his donkey or his two servants? Had Balaam said something that God didn't tell him to say? Nothing seems to change after God chastises Balaam; he just continues to go with the officials. So what was wrong?

I don't have any answers.

I also don't know how to end this post. It is something of an anomaly for me. I think it's a part of God wanting me to simplify my life. I make things complicated when they aren't and I don't know why. Maybe I have some internal desire for conflict or complexity so I can't accept things that are simple.

I'm really just confused right now. Sorry if this is awkward or disappointing or something negative like that.

I'm gonna go be quiet for a while.

Thanks for putting up with me :)

-Nik.