Adventures in Wonderland (Part Three)

Suddenly he knew the truth in what the rabbit said. It burrowed deep and stirred up something inside of him.

"Can you take me back? Can you take me back to the land of color? I hate it here! I have always hated this place! There is nothing here but slow rotting death. I want to feel again; I want to BE again! Please, take me back!"

"But you have duties here, milord." The deep voice startled him.

"My duties here are meaningless, Commander. There is nothing for me to accomplish here; nothing for me to live for! Please, rabbit, take me..."

But the rabbit was gone. He stood bewildered and defeated, his hopes dashed. The commander stood silently as the king walked over to where the rabbit had been and picked up a small pocketwatch that the rabbit had apparently left behind. The king stowed the pocketwatch and sullenly trudged back to the castle with the commander.

In secret, when he could, he would examine the pocketwatch. It was a curious piece, ever ticking, but with no numbers or tick marks on its face. Its hands circled aimlessly, never telling where they were going or when they might stop. It just ticked on.

He carried on secretly observing the watch for years. Never in that time did he gain anything from his observation, but it was a constant reminder of the life he now longed for. He wanted out of this kingdom and wanted to see colors again, but he had no way of leaving. He had spotted the rabbit a few times, but it always evaded him, sometimes diving into brush, somtimes under furniture, and even once out a first floor window, always disappearing before he could catch up with it or ask it that one question that burned inside him. How do I get out of this place?

Adventures in Wonderland (Part Two)

Read Part One here first:
http://papermeetspen.blogspot.com/2011/12/adventures-in-wonderland-part-one.html

His rule was not a great one, but he kept the kingdom intact. Until one day a rabbit bounded through his court. He was captivated by the creature, having seen nothing like it in all his time there. It's perfect form reminded him of another life, one far away and long forgotten.

He pursued the rabbit through the castle and beyond its walls. It led him into a deformed forest of gnarled trees with twisted trunks and bent branches. He could not follow along its graceful path through the bramble, but the rabbit stayed within sight of the road. They reached a clearing and here the rabbit stopped. It turned and asked him:

"Why do you chase me? You are the king, aren't you? Why do you chase me? What could I have that you want?"

And once again he found himself unable to answer.

"Surely you, king, can see past this black and white. You must certainly know what lies beyond. Why do you fear it so?"

"I lived there once!" His shouting reply came as a surprise to his own ears. "I lived there once and it was a land of foolishness! A childish waste of time! Always staring at the colors, making something out of nothing, it was all just pretend!"

"Have you forgotten how you came upon this kingdom, my lord? Have you forgotten..."

"Why do you call me 'my lord'? I've never seen you in my service and clearly you come from a land beyond my own! Where is it that you come from, rabbit?"

"I come from the land of color, the very land that you denounce. I come from the childish land of emotions and heartache. And so do you, oh king."

Adventures in Wonderland (Part One)

Her words stung more than the cold that had settled in over the past week. Winter had come and come fierce with claws and fangs. The cold bit at his skin and there was no snow to warm his heart. While the cold could be countered with layers, he had no armor against the things she said.

"You're just a boy!" She spat. "Just an immature boy! A boy, not a man!"

The words dug deep into a wound that had been there for years. He had never really admitted it, not even to himself, but this injury had to remain hidden. There was no fixing it, it was a terminal wound that would destroy him. And her words had stung it back into reality.

She was only joking. Pestering and sparring like they always did, but today she chose to hit hard. He would never know if she meant for it to hurt like that, but the pain made it impossible for him to fight back.

So he sank.

He sank into a fantasy where apathy was called invincibility. It was a weak facade, to be sure, not nearly enough to prevent the damage from her words, but it numbed the pain enough to where he could pretend everything was okay. So he kept pretending.

But he got lost in the fantasy. The black and white world was simple enough. It required little but took everything. The deformed creatures there seemed to be up to something when they called him "King," but they called him king and that was enough. He continued to rule there for years.